Tansel and Rettel
by Legolas Skies
Summary: A Witches of Pooka twist with the classic Hansel and Grettel story.


Tansel

And

Rettel:

The Untold Story

Once there was a little boy named Tansel. He had a sister named Rettel. The two lived a happy life in a small village on the banks of the Orange Soda River, which was right on the border of Munchkin Land and Pooka.

Tansel and Rettel were a very adventuresome and curious duo. Their only issue was that they were not exactly the...shall we say...smartest children ever. Oh sure, they were cute and all, but really, does that help anyone along in life? (The answer is no, by the way.)

One day, Tansel was fishing in the river while Rettel was making a daisy crown. Unfortunately, the chocolate fish were not biting.

"There's no fish in this river!" yelled Tansel, throwing his pole aside.

"Don't I look pretty? I am the Daisy Queen! I rule every daisy that has, is, or will grow!"

"I'm bored. I want to do something else."

"Ok, like what?" asked Rettel.

"I don't know...say, why don't we explore the woods until dinner?"

"Oh that sounds wonderful!"

Tansel and Rettel skipped off into the forest, happily anticipating the adventures they were sure to have in the forest...

"Tansel?" asked Rettel, "All these trees look the same, how are we going to find our way back home?"

"Oh, I left a trail of gummy worms,"

"You think of everything Tansel," said Rettel, adoringly.

"What was that noise?" asked Tansel.

"Oh look!" exclaimed Rettel, "He is so cute!"

And so he was. A baby monkey, with the smallest wings sprouting out of its back, had come out of the forest and into a clearing where Tansel and Rettel were standing.

"Come here, cutie, come here," said Rettel in a very annoying and babyish voice, "What have you got there?" Rettel moved closer and stuck out her hand.

The baby, flying monkey snarled and flew off in the opposite direction of the way they had come, but not before snatching the last few gummy worms on the trail.

"That monkey ate our trail!" yelled Rettel, "What do we do now?"

"It's not that hard to figure out," said Tansel, "We need to follow the trail to get home right?"

"Yeah,"

"The monkey ate the trail..."

"Yes and we're lost!"

"No, the trail is in his tummy, so, we must follow him if we want to get home."

"Wow," said Rettel. "You have such a clear head in a crisis. I wish I could think like you..."

"Follow that monkey!" yelled Tansel as he charged off into the woods, chasing the baby, flying monkey.

As I think I've said before, Tansel and Rettel weren't the sharpest tools in the shed.

"Slow down, you stupid monkey!" yelled Rettel, almost out of breath.

Tansel collapsed on the "trail" up ahead.

"Tansel!" yelled Rettel, "Are you ok?!"

"Go on without me..."

"Oh stop it. Quit being such a drama queen..."

"I am not!" yelled Tansel, sitting up.

"You're fine, but, thanks to your delay, we've lost the monkey."

"Yeah, but we're on a road now, a fuchsia brick road."

"Maybe we can find someone who can give us directions home," speculated Rettel.

"It's worth a try," said Tansel.

The Witches of Pooka were spending the day in Gummy Bear Land, when Mac's servant found them. He was a baby, flying monkey, named Gawain. The monkey screeched wildly as it flew overhead.

Mac looked up, alarmed. "Come here Gawain, what's the matter?"

The monkey screeched again as he landed in Macs arms.

"A boy and girl? On their way to Pooka? Why? Did they see you?"

The monkey screeched yet again as Bee and Lexi looked on with mild surprise.

"They had Gummy worms? Did you bring me any?"

Lexi cut in, "Wait, a boy and girl are roaming freely all around Pooka?"

Mac looked at her, "No didn't you hear what Gawain said? There're lost in the forest on the borders of Pooka."

"Yeah Lexi," said Amber, "How could you not have heard that?"

"You didn't hear it either dipstick!"

"Well you know what, I have a pickle in my ear!"

"Well what are we going to do about this?" asked Lexi, sensibly and ignoring her sister.

"We can't let them just roam free!" said Mac.

"What do you propose we do then?"

"Scare 'em a bit," replied Mac simply.

"How?" asked Lexi.

"You just leave that to Madame Malicious Monkey," said Mac, with a gleam in her eye.

"For some reason, I don't like the sound of that..." said Lexi.

"No," said Amber, "but you know she'll get the job done."

Lexi shrugged and disappeared in her customary yellow smoke.

A moment of after words, both Mac and Amber disappeared in their orange and green clouds, respectively.

"Tansel! Look at the daisies! They look like they're made of... Oh My God, they are made of marshmallows!" yelled Rettel excitedly.

"And the grass is...green sour punch straws!" whooped Tansel. "And the dirt is made of crushed Oreos!"

"This must be the place from the stories..." said Rettel, trailing off. "This must be where the river starts, if I'm not mistaken, we're in the Magical Land of Pooka! The one in all the legends!"

"Sweet," said Tansel, in between bites of a chocolate tulip.

Rettel shrugged, picked a marshmallow daisy, and sat down next to her brother.

It may seem that Rettel put two and two together quite quickly, and that I'm just exaggerating their lack of mental aptitude, however, Rettel forgot one very important aspect of all the stories and legends...The Witches of Pooka. Let's not forget what they did to Ballerina Boy (see "The Witches of Pooka" and "The Return of Ballerina Boy" for more details), even though he deserved it. –evil grin-

Anyway, it's about to get very interesting...

"Rettel! Look! A castle made of candy!"

"Wow... we should g visit whoever lives there and ask if we could spend the night."

"Tansel! We don't know them! They could be evil."

"No body that lives in a candy castle could possibly be evil."

"Still..." began Rettel, "I'm being cautions..."

"To Pooka with cautiousness!" said Tansel, as he ran up the peppermint walk way.

"Tansel! NO!"

It was too late, Tansel had already rung a sugar-spun bell. The air was deathly silent.

"Well, looks like nobody's home, let's go!" said Rettel quickly.

"Somebody's coming...," said Tansel.

A tall, redheaded guy opened the door.

"Oh my god! Company! I loveCompany! I'm Jack! Oh my God!"

"I'm Tansel and this is my sister Rettel."

"This is going to be awesome! Come in!" said Jack, as he skipped inside.

As Tansel and Rettel stepped inside, they were dumbstruck. The entire interior of the castle was...food!

Amber was at the top of the starburst staircase when the doorbell rang.

She watched as Jack bounded from the kitchen to answer the door.

Mac came and stood beside her. "Right on time," said Mac. "This is going to be fun."

Amber laughed as the two children's eyes practically popped out of their heads.

"You live here?" the little boy asked Jack.

"Yep."

"This is your house?" asked the little girl.

"Oh no," said Jack quickly. "I'm only a servant, the Witches of Pooka live here."

At that moment, Mac and Amber disappeared from the top of the steps and appeared at the bottom with Lexi.

Mac said, "Dun, dun, dun."

Tansel grabbed Rettel and stuck her behind him. In truth, he was just as scared, if not more, than she was.

"Don't be afraid," said the tallest of the three Witches, who was clad in all yellow. "We're not going to hurt you..."

"Really?" asked Tansel, hopefully.

"Wrong!" said Mac.

"You're going to eat us, aren't you?" asked Rettel, with obvious fear in her voice.

"Why? Just tell me why we would want to eat you... when there's candy?" asked Amber.

"I wouldn't eat you, 'cause you're so tough," sang Mac, interrupting everyone, "He was a one-eyed, one-horned, flying, purple-people eater... one-eyed, one-horned, flying, purple-people--"

"Mac!!!!" yelled Lexi, "Stop it!"

Mac stopped, but stamped her feet and pouted, throwing glaring looks at Lexi for a full five minutes.

Rettel suddenly said, out of nowhere, "Whose chocolate rose bushes were outside? They were beautiful!"

Jack blushed, "Mine..."

"Really? I have tons of roses at home..."

"What are we going to do with them?" asked Lexi, "We can't just let them go..."

"Witches' huddle!" proclaimed Amber.

Once they were good and huddled Mac said, with a gleam in her eye, "You know who else like roses... don't you?"

"No," said Amber, simply.

"That is too cruel! And unusual…" objected Lexi.

"But..." said Amber, "It might... just might work..."

"Then it's settled?" asked Mac.

Both Amber and Lexi nodded.

"Break!" said Mac, clapping her hands together.

"We have decided," said Amber, raising her voice slightly.

Tansel's eyes grew large and afraid.

Mac smiled and waved good-bye.

Tansel and Rettel hugged each other as they felt themselves start to disappear. And the, pop! They were gone.

Amber said, to a servant passing by, "You... servant... I can never remember your name..."

"It's Brian!" yelled the servant throwing done the basket he was carrying, "Brian! B-R-I-A-N! Why is that so hard?!" You never remember my name!"

"Yeah... anyway, get me some Gummy Bears, will you?" asked Amber, nonchalantly.

The servant... oh, what was his name again? Oh, well, it's not that important... anyway, the servant stalked away towards the kitchens, muttering darkly about stupid witches and their stupid Gummy Bears!

When Tansel and Rettel reappeared, they had no idea where they were.

They were in a large room with wooden floors and mirrors coated the walls. The overture from Swan Lake was blaring out of large speakers in the opposite corner.

A tall boy stood in the center of the room, with his eyes closed, gesturing expressively.

After a few moments, the boy started to move his entire body around the floor.

Tansel and Rettel stood transfixed with amazement... neither of them had ever seen anything so beautiful before!

They boy started to leap. As soon as he became air-born, he opened his eyes for the first time. He was so shocked he screamed and fell down in a heap on the floor, with his arms clamped over his head.

Both Tansel and Rettel clapped enthusiastically and shouted, "Brava!"

The boy screamed again and dove underneath a table where a beautifully pink poodle lay sleeping. He grabbed the dog and hugged it to his chest screaming, "Take anything! Anything you want! Just not my Tutu! My poor little Tutu!"

"We don't want you, _tutu_," said Rettel.

"Or anything else," added Tansel.

The boy stopped screaming instantly, "You don't?" He clapped his hands and the stereo shut off. "Then what do you want?"  
"The Witches of Pooka sent us here," replied Rettel.

The boy's face darkened, "They're all evil, the whole lot of them!"

"Really?" asked Tansel, "I thought they were quite pleasant... maybe because I thought they were going to eat us..."

"I'm Kyle, by the way, and this is my baby, Tutu."

Rettel's eyes got HUGE. "You ... You're Kyle?" Kyle and Tutu? From all the legends?" asked Rettel, who was slightly embarrassed because she had always been slightly taken with the tall ballerina in all of the legends...

"I suppose."

Rettel giggled and averted her gaze out the window.

"Those are the most beautiful rose bushes I have ever seen!" exclaimed Rettel.

"Really? You like them?"

"I love roses! I had about twenty bushes at home."

"I've had these since I was seven, and I think they've finally..."

It was the beginning of a beautiful 'friendship.'

The

End

(Or is it?)


End file.
